The Wow Factor

“Okay, so what’s the Wow for?” She asks, staring curiously. I turn toward her completely unprepared to answer; in fact, I hadn’t even realized I said it aloud. Now here we were… chilling. I’m affectionately cruising with my fingertips, the foot or so of goose bumps between her wrist and the bend of her elbow. The conversation is excellent; silly, flirtatious… smooth. The atmosphere is mellow, low-light, cool temperature, warm colors. Man I’ve been waiting for this moment all week! I have no plans to advance from my position. I’m not setting up for the kill, I’m just genuinely happy to be in her presence… I really did miss her.

Why did I say Wow? I mean right then… Wow? Why would I say that? I wanted to answer her honestly… but realized that the answer was more complex than I was mentally equipped to explain. There were so many Wow Factors operating at precisely that moment, trying to categorize and verbalize them would have made me look as desperate as I already felt.

Let’s examine the Wow factor.

The first W.O.W.= Wondering Our Wishes. I mean I know what I want, but how, if at all, does it line up with her desired end to this thing. Our situation has been so complicated, so stressful, so weird that I want to make this experience as simplistic as possible for her. No complex boundaries or abstract concepts of obligation, just me, being here for her… in whatever capacity she needs me, for as long as she needs me… period. But that doesn’t in any way change the fact that she dictates my every thought, monopolizes my imagination and controls my future like play-do. If she’s got plans for me tomorrow, my plans for the day after tomorrow get canceled just incase I’m able to convince her to stay longer. And that brings me to the next WOW…

WOW= Whipped Or Wacko? Why in the world am I suddenly so unable to suppress my deep admiration? Why can’t I be like normal guys masking their feelings with pure bravado and immature waiting games, like the 3-day rule before calling. Why does it seem like the more you like a person… the less they like you? Seriously? Is it just me? When I was pretending like I could care less, every non-chalant gesture I made was immediately combated with a reassuring act of devotion and undying faithfulness. Now every kiss makes me as nervous as the first and seems as fleeting as the last. I can’t tell rather my compliments are being treasured or tolerated. Have I become the friend that’s unaware his permanent residence is in the friend zone? Is she just banking on my scarcely implemented ability to eventually take a hint? And when I’m finally relaxed enough to take a breath…

WOW= Why Overly Worried? I mean it is what it is right? And what will be will be. I guess I’m just

Waiting On When the Woman Of  Wonder decides Will  Our Worlds exist With Or Without each other romantically.  Till then, I’m just Walking On Water (going in faith).  Um… When’s Our Wedding?... did I just type that aloud?..... WOW!

So when she asks, “Why the Wow?” I say…. “Just thinking, that’s all!”

A Mile Away

I carefully calculated each move, cautious… cognitive. Like a lion in pre-pounce position upon a bed of dry leaves amidst his preoccupied prey. Mentally locked in on my target, however, eyes purposely wondering as to divert attention from my intention.  A concoction of adrenaline and nervousness is being served with a side of recklessness and fed to the silver back gorilla who’s obviously trapped in my chest cavity. (BOOM BOOM! BOOM BOOM! BOOM BOOM!)

Patiently awaiting a breach in the mundane that I could justify as occasion to advance. Wait a minute… this might be it!…… She’s smiling! She’s coming closer! She hugs me! She’s….. leaving? I’m such and idiot! Man, (sigh) if procrastination is the thief of time, uncertainty is the hardened assassin of opportunity. As the distance between her car keys and ignition grow shorter, I quietly conjure a recovery operative. I’m thinking to myself… “there’s still time to salvage my hope of escaping the friend zone.” But I must act now!

Okay this is it, the long anticipated introduction of rubber and road. Let’s focus baby… like a concentration boost in my jamba juice. I speak, “Um… wah… wait, hold up a sec!” She turns, (giggling) “Yes?” Think quick bro! “Oh ah, your necklace… is that a Tiffany?” She stops, “Ummm… yeah.” Excellent. Not only did she stop, but by pretending to examine her bling, I’ve advanced to prime positioning for my strike. Think about it. Her chain fashionably fastened to her neck, and my hands all over it. The only thing that stands between my location and my objective is a cute little chin…. I’m a genius.

Here we go! Eyes closed, thrust and kiss…. Wow!... I did it, I actually did it. I mean yeah, it lasted all of 0.5 seconds and our mouths were closed, BUT STILL, she has been kissed.

Awaiting her reaction sort of feels like bracing myself in an underground bunker for the imminent impact of a bomb I personally saw deployed. Alright… I’m ready for it… what’s the verdict? My anticipation is being tortured by silence and calm. And finally she leaves. Yeah! You heard me…. She just leaves. Smiling softly, right before she closes her car door and disappears in the after glow of white reverse and red brake lights she says…. “I saw that coming from a mile away.”